Pain-Full Days

I did this journal page last week because I dislocated my right shoulder and boy the pain was intense. I have a weak shoulder from a car accident some 20 odd years ago, if I over use or put pressure on the shoulder I get issues, so it seems sword fighting has not helped. I forgot the level of pain involved as it was been over 7 years since the last time it happened, plus the tiredness you feel just to keep going.

Everything feels rubbish, very little art pain and stress headaches, all the long hours and hard work have taken their toll and every day I have pressure across my forehead so I am working on reducing it. Looking after myself, eating better,daily exercise and art to help me get back to some form of good health.

I am aware I have not been blogging basically because I have been getting in from work eating, watching TV for an hour then bed, it is not a life and I can feel how unhappy I feel. So time to change and I think a good way to start is by me commiting to blogging every day in March.  Less tv, more art and reading plus I have a week away from work soon so it will be a most excellent chance to get out and about.

I have also signed up for one of these monthly geek boxes, this one is Neek Box when it arrives I will post some pictures. I also have to decide what art supplies I will be buying this month, there are too many choices and not enough money so I will keep you updated.

So that is all for now, stay amazing!

Clairester
Xx

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Time

Another challenging week finished with, worked far too many hours and am more stressed than I have been for years.

So it leads me to thinking about my ethics, I was put in a position of being responsible for a project due to go live 2 weeks later no handover, and it was made clear it was on my head to make it all work. In an ideal world you would turn around and refuse, say it is unacceptable but in today’s work place you have to suck it up when you are in a new job.

So I worked all hours to make the project as successful as I could, now that is just the way I am. The downside is that I didn’t feel particularly well appreciated and that is my issue, I don’t really know what is suitable or how my Managers should deal with it but I did feel there was a little playing one off against the other. So I am not very happy about the way I feel and to be honest not sure what to do about it or how to handle it.

The only good thing was a gift from my Mum, made me cry was so touched after such a crappy time.

Along with all of this I am having to confront the fact that I am in my 40’s and that my body is going to act differently and go through changes. All this adds to the stress and pressure I have been under, which obviously has affected my sleeping. So in all not a fun time, I have struggled to paint due to getting home late in the evening so It was such a joy so take some time this weekend to journal.

Already we are nearly halfway through February and it just feels like time is rushing by, all the days turning into bubbles filled with memories. I had wanted to savour the time and I feel panicked instead….

That is all for tonight and I hope to resume normal service this week.

Clairester
Xx

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