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Many Happy Returns

Happy Birthday to me, today I am 45 years young and I really don’t consider out of my late 30’s. I never work on my birthday, I made the mistake of doing that last year after many years of taking it as holiday and I didn’t like it. So today I have been painting my day away, watching good tv and chilling out, and it has been a pleasant day.

My whole ethos for this year is Harmony which just in the first 2 weeks has been a real challenge, so I have taken small steps one journal page a week, gentle exercise every day that I can improve upon as the days and weeks go by instead of trying too hard at the beginning, failing and giving up.

So my first completed journal page is below, and it is sometime how I feel that is it raining life, everything coming down on me all at once. Mostly this tends to be work and as much as I try to let it go when you are there over 8 hours a day it is extremely hard.

Raining Life

Really enjoyed using my new Dylusions paints, lovely consistency and go beautifully with the distress paints and sprays. I just love the depth of colour that can be achieved through layering these products, with this in mind I thought I would have a go at painting some clay butterflies I made for my white tree.

White Tree 1

This is just the start and these were the only ones I had ready to paint, I like the look bright and sunny.

Pink Butterfly

Yellow Butterfly

Orange Butterfly

Green Butterfly

And I have started a new journal page  for this week, just loving the colours so rich

New Inspiration

So from doing no art to a fair amount over the last couple of weeks it feels really good to get back into my life again, get some work life balance.

Wishing you a great evening.

Clairester xx

Sunday Musings

The end of the first week of January, I wonder how many people have already broken their New Year resolutions, i don’t set any for that very reason. Instead this year I have thought about changes I want to make and instead of leaping in, I will take small step towards making them happen.

My year is all about Harmony, so I want to be fitter, stronger physically and mentally, better work life balance and I want to focus much more on making art and being creative. This all takes effort in todays society that is all about stress, work and making money.

So my plan involves me starting gentle daily exercise, being consistent which is totally achievable. I will be working on the same schedule for 4 weeks then gradually increasing the exercise time along with this I will be eating healthier clean foods and cutting out processed foods, the idea being to create a habit of exercising and good eating. Obviously I will be allowing myself to have a little of what I like cake/ sweet but where possible homemade without additives.

The other part of having balance is making sure that I take time out to be creative, I have really missed the act of putting paint to paper and seeing what I can create. Below is what I am currently working on in my new handmade journal, and I am really liking how it is coming on.

Journal Page 1Journal Page 10 Jan

I will post pictures of the finished article later in the week, and I am just loving the feeling I get from playing around with paint.

Enjoy your Sunday evening

Much love

Clairester xx

Hello and Happy New Year to you all!

I am extremely glad to see the back of 2015, it was not the greatest year for me a horrible breakup, 2 bouts of redundancy that I survived but have had to deal with the fallout, lots of stress from the additional work and being ill all over Christmas and New Year.

So welcome to 2016 my year to make decisions, work towards making some changes and have some amazing adventures. Being ill has given me a chance to think and reflect over what changes I want to make now I can start to make some plans.

Part of reflecting on 2015 to move towards the new year was to work on choosing my word courtesy of Susannah Conway, her short free course for Finding your Word was invaluable. I didn’t have one for 2015 so felt it was important to have a focus for 2016, Susannah’s course was insightful and everyone in the Facebook group was incredibly supportive; it was wonderful to see each person go through the process and pick their word.

My New Year was spent making a new art journal, I did this in 2014 and being ill I certainly was not planning on going out. It is really quite therapeutic and at the end of the process you have a new journal.

New Journal & Supplies

So this is the cover before I added the name and with some of the art supplies I ordered over Christmas. Sadly 2015 was not good for art productivity and I have really missed this. Just by painting the cover I remembered how much I loved this which is part of my wider plan for this year.

2016 Harmony Art Journal

The word I chose for 2016 is Harmony.

My life got a little out of control and I lost perspective, I took on too much and found I had no work life balance at all. What I have realised is that I have to be able to walk away from work and not to feel guilty, it is not my responsibility to cover all the work no-one else can do . My use of the work Harmony is to remind myself that I need balance in all aspects of my life, I did not live last year I survived. This year is about me shouting out loud that I AM ALIVE and working on making adventures happen.

So no resolutions for me instead my word serves me for the whole of 2016 in all the ways I want to make changes, I am looking for Harmony.

I wish much success with your plans for 2016, lets share our adventures.

Much love

Clairester xx

Organise Me

So what have I been up to, well to help with my anxiety, organising myself and keep track of my life I have started using well originally a Filofax. It focusses my mind and helps me plan better thus keeping some of my worries at bay. I was lucky enough a while ago to order a Kikki K planner from Australia, and it is beautiful.

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Ocean blue with gold dots in leather, I love this type of closure means you can fit more inside. Normally I am a purple girl but I fancied something different and it reminds me of the sea. I love being creative with my diary and it pleases me do something small towards being artistic.

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As much as I like technology I miss writing, I don’t get the same thrill from adding an appointment to my phone and at the moment I have quite a lot of upheaval going on so to be able to order the mind no matter how small is just what is required.

I found out last week that our department is under review for redundancy so none of our jobs are safe and we won’t find anything out till 1st June. My year started out amazing with 2 wonderful holidays and since I have been back I have had challenge after challenge, I just hope I can get through this with my sanity intact.

Wishing you well this evening

Clairester x

 

 

Good Morning World

It has been just over a month since my last post, as you can imagine I needed some time to process what had happened. I would not say I am out the other side but I have moved past the anger into acceptance and understanding that if he was ‘the one’ we would still be together and he wouldn’t have walked away. I will always believe it is his loss that he didn’t try to talk to me but accept it was his decision and he will have to live with that.

I am reading a heartbreak self help book just to keep me moving and not dwelling on what can never be and also to keep from over blaming myself for what happened. I will post some more on this later.

Now I get to look forward to the rest of the year as a blank slate and decide what I want to do, where I want to go and how I want to live my life.

Best Foot Forward

As I had posed earlier I was cutting sugar out, I eased up a little during the break up but didn’t go mad and I am now back on track for the last 7 days and I do feel good. My moods don’t swing so wildly, and I am going for a walk in the evening to start getting fit and rebuild my confidence.

So my first project has been to sort clutter from my flat, move things around, make it look different so it lessens any memories from “before”. Boy it felt good and extremely cathartic throwing stuff away and I totally believe it has helped me with moving on and coming to terms with being single again.

Art table has been cleared ready to start art journaling, painting and crafting again, I seemed to lose myself a little in this relationship now I am getting back to being me. So I plan to be very busy over the coming months sharing new projects and living a little more adventurously.

See you soon

Clairester x

My Broken Heart

Sorry I haven’t been back on for the last 2 weeks had some personal things going on along with a job change.

So I find myself single after nearly a year dating the most amazing man, unfortunately issues with my anxiety arose which drove a wedge between us so it has ended. I am heart broken as I truly loved him, however something was definitely off this year and our holiday a few weeks ago was a challenge as we were both stressed out. He was angry with me a lot which is not right so whilst I am very upset at the ending of our relationship, I kinda know it is the right thing for us to do so that we can remember the good times.

What I take away from this relationship was that I met an utterly handsome gentleman who totally wooed me, we fell in love and for 11 months had so much fun together and don’t bear each other any ill will now that it has ended. We still love each other and I think it is the best you can hope for there being no blame on either side and that you have good memories to hold onto.

Now there is the option for us to be friends, he is going away to help clear his head and give us both some space so I have to decide if I want to remain friends with him, difficult choice I think. I know that he believes in me and wants the best for me, I just don’t want to get confused with my feelings I think if we do we would have to go slow.

So not much art has been done as stress doesn’t make me very creative.

Hug each other tight tonight,

Clairester

xxxx

What does sugar mean to you? Personally I have a very sweet tooth and love cakes, biscuits and the like, I have found a direct correlation between my anxiety symptoms and eating sugary treats.

So this weekend I started to do some research on how to cut sugar out of my diet, believe me I know it is going to be hard however there are so many health benefits to not eating sugar and along with that processed foods. It means eating healthy natural foods, so lots of organisation required so it doesn’t take an age to make food every day.

I read 2 books Davina’s 5 Weeks to Sugar-free by Davina McCall and Eat. Nourish. Glow  by Amelia Freer both have given me a huge amount of information about what eating sugar does to the body along with excellent recipes and meal plans to get started.

To start it is easier for me to follow Davina’s 5 Weeks to Sugar-free as the recipes are easy to make and not hugely expensive, I found Amanda’s book very helpful but a little austere and not really suitable for my life at the moment. I will definitely use some of the recipes as they sound delicious.

I am really looking forward to starting this, I have to get rid of a lot of food so most of it will be going to one of my friends then this weekend big spring clean of the kitchen, reorganisation and preparation of foods for the week. I will post updates over the weekend, I do have a journal page in progress which I will post once I have finished it. Unfortunately, I have a lot going on in my personal life and with work that is quite stressful so I am glad to have something to occupy my mind and so that I feel like I am more in control of my life. My anxiety of late has caused some problems so I want to try and lessen the symptoms so going forward I won’t feel so emotionally out of control.

Watch this space….

Have a lovely evening

Clairester

xx

 

 

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