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Happy Birthday to me, today I am 45 years young and I really don’t consider out of my late 30’s. I never work on my birthday, I made the mistake of doing that last year after many years of taking it as holiday and I didn’t like it. So today I have been painting my day away, watching good tv and chilling out, and it has been a pleasant day.

My whole ethos for this year is Harmony which just in the first 2 weeks has been a real challenge, so I have taken small steps one journal page a week, gentle exercise every day that I can improve upon as the days and weeks go by instead of trying too hard at the beginning, failing and giving up.

So my first completed journal page is below, and it is sometime how I feel that is it raining life, everything coming down on me all at once. Mostly this tends to be work and as much as I try to let it go when you are there over 8 hours a day it is extremely hard.

Raining Life

Really enjoyed using my new Dylusions paints, lovely consistency and go beautifully with the distress paints and sprays. I just love the depth of colour that can be achieved through layering these products, with this in mind I thought I would have a go at painting some clay butterflies I made for my white tree.

White Tree 1

This is just the start and these were the only ones I had ready to paint, I like the look bright and sunny.

Pink Butterfly

Yellow Butterfly

Orange Butterfly

Green Butterfly

And I have started a new journal page  for this week, just loving the colours so rich

New Inspiration

So from doing no art to a fair amount over the last couple of weeks it feels really good to get back into my life again, get some work life balance.

Wishing you a great evening.

Clairester xx

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The end of the first week of January, I wonder how many people have already broken their New Year resolutions, i don’t set any for that very reason. Instead this year I have thought about changes I want to make and instead of leaping in, I will take small step towards making them happen.

My year is all about Harmony, so I want to be fitter, stronger physically and mentally, better work life balance and I want to focus much more on making art and being creative. This all takes effort in todays society that is all about stress, work and making money.

So my plan involves me starting gentle daily exercise, being consistent which is totally achievable. I will be working on the same schedule for 4 weeks then gradually increasing the exercise time along with this I will be eating healthier clean foods and cutting out processed foods, the idea being to create a habit of exercising and good eating. Obviously I will be allowing myself to have a little of what I like cake/ sweet but where possible homemade without additives.

The other part of having balance is making sure that I take time out to be creative, I have really missed the act of putting paint to paper and seeing what I can create. Below is what I am currently working on in my new handmade journal, and I am really liking how it is coming on.

Journal Page 1Journal Page 10 Jan

I will post pictures of the finished article later in the week, and I am just loving the feeling I get from playing around with paint.

Enjoy your Sunday evening

Much love

Clairester xx

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Hello and Happy New Year to you all!

I am extremely glad to see the back of 2015, it was not the greatest year for me a horrible breakup, 2 bouts of redundancy that I survived but have had to deal with the fallout, lots of stress from the additional work and being ill all over Christmas and New Year.

So welcome to 2016 my year to make decisions, work towards making some changes and have some amazing adventures. Being ill has given me a chance to think and reflect over what changes I want to make now I can start to make some plans.

Part of reflecting on 2015 to move towards the new year was to work on choosing my word courtesy of Susannah Conway, her short free course for Finding your Word was invaluable. I didn’t have one for 2015 so felt it was important to have a focus for 2016, Susannah’s course was insightful and everyone in the Facebook group was incredibly supportive; it was wonderful to see each person go through the process and pick their word.

My New Year was spent making a new art journal, I did this in 2014 and being ill I certainly was not planning on going out. It is really quite therapeutic and at the end of the process you have a new journal.

New Journal & Supplies

So this is the cover before I added the name and with some of the art supplies I ordered over Christmas. Sadly 2015 was not good for art productivity and I have really missed this. Just by painting the cover I remembered how much I loved this which is part of my wider plan for this year.

2016 Harmony Art Journal

The word I chose for 2016 is Harmony.

My life got a little out of control and I lost perspective, I took on too much and found I had no work life balance at all. What I have realised is that I have to be able to walk away from work and not to feel guilty, it is not my responsibility to cover all the work no-one else can do . My use of the work Harmony is to remind myself that I need balance in all aspects of my life, I did not live last year I survived. This year is about me shouting out loud that I AM ALIVE and working on making adventures happen.

So no resolutions for me instead my word serves me for the whole of 2016 in all the ways I want to make changes, I am looking for Harmony.

I wish much success with your plans for 2016, lets share our adventures.

Much love

Clairester xx

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Well hey and hello, it has been an age since I not only blogged but also did any kind of art or journaling. I am not sure what happened somehow with my job and other things going on I forgot who I was and what I need to keep some stability in my life.

With that in mind I embarked on some artwork today, weather a bit rubbish after coming back from holiday yesterday. Just wanted to get my creative juices flowing as I have been out of it for a while.

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I cannot believe we are already in the middle of March, this has been a crazy year so far I have been lucky enough to go on 2 holidays to the Dominican Republic with my boyfriend, he normally spends the Winters on holiday which his job allows. So I have spent 4 weeks relaxing, being pampered and for someone who hasn’t had a 2 week holiday away for 10 years this has been an incredible experience in learning how to relaxing and de-stress. Not sure I am fully there unfortunately the stress I endured before each holiday was immense as well as work issues on my return so these are definitely things I need to work on.

If you want to see any of the videos you can view them if you sort by newest first – Dominican Republic Jan 2015 videos

So now I am back a fresh start is needed, lots of art and journaling and blogging are on the agenda along with getting out and about to focus on some photography a new hobby I am trying.

So I wish you well for this Sunday evening and see you soon

Clairester x

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I have been away for quite a while, it seems there is just never enough time to fit everything in that I want to do.

The last 4 months have been crazy, amazing at times, hard work and sometimes stressful  but I really wouldn’t change what has happened, I just hope that the rest of the year is as exciting.

So what has been happening well very briefly, work has been crazy busy, working long hours and generally being unpleasant. I have met the most amazing guy who I have been seeing for nearly 5 months, honestly the time we spend together is just perfect and we went on my first holiday for 10 years together to Majorca which was beautiful.

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Well we are fast heading into Autumn and it is the time for getting back into reading which I have missed desperately and spending my evenings being more productive doing art, I really miss it and I know it grounds. I have always known it keeps me sane if all around me is going mental. So I am back and I am going to try to film some of my making of art, my boyfriend has lent me a swish, fancy camera to use so watch this space.

Currently reading – Bringing up the Bodies by Hilary Mantel
I loved Wolf Hall and the sequel is equally as thrilling.

Looking forward to reading The Taxidermist’s Daughter by Kate Mosse

Also check out my boyfriends youtube channel, flying, shooting, and lovely holiday destinations – G-Dogg Cool Adventures

Wishing you all a happy Saturday night

Clairester

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And I liked it alot.

Been an age since I last blogged, sadly the work/ life balance just became work, no life really in the 2 weeks leading up to Easter early mornings and late nights. I hate that it is really hard to create when I am so worn out or have no energy.

Luckily I have this week off so apart from catching up with chores I am painting up a storm and it feels good, I have really missed the creative outlet as I know how much it settles my mind, takes away anxiety and nurtures my soul. As you are already aware I paint from my heart, what I feel at that moment which is why I tend to do them quickly otherwise when the feeling dissipates it is a struggle to finish. With that in mind thus feeling has lasted several days so thus us what I created.

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So yes this is quite different for me, well at the beginning of April I got an offer for online dating so I decided to give it a go for a month. I wrote a honest bio for the first time and within a few days start chatting to a lovely guy. The emails were interesting about who he is, asking me about stuff in my bio and he was funny. Naturally it then progressed to talking on the phone, oh my so much laughter and we talked about everything. So last week he says we should meet, which for me is the hardest part I don’t consider myself attractive so it tends to be make or break.

Saturday was the date, we spent just short of 8 hours together which I think is long for a date, and it was the perfect day. Now I have never really dated, fallen into relationships, met odd men but never treated the way i was on Saturday. We got on really well, it was just easy as he was so kind and caring, by the end we were holding hands and he was very much the gentleman. Since then he has been sweet and honest, my normal reaction is to question, get anxious and control and instead I am going with the flow allowing myself to feel this way and enjoying how this feels.

Personality wise we fit, silences (if any) are reflective and calming, he is crazy handsome and a lot of fun and it all right now, in this moment feels right. I think dating when you are older (40’s) means you have a better perspective on what doesn’t work for you making it easier to spot what does. I am well aware that things change, as do feelings but I am trying to be the artistic, happy clever me not the one filled with anxiety who doubts everything ruins it then say I’ll never find anyone.

As a rule this doesn’t happen to me so I am happy to join this ride for as long as it makes me happy and our second date is tomorrow. Nice little line of anxiety going tonight that he will see me a second time and change his mind, totally irrational of course and if that did happen then he is not worth it, this I know….doesn’t help!

Anyway goodnight to you all

Clairester
Xx

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Change is coming, I am terrible at accepting change when it is imposed on me, this time the change is coming from within. The last six months have been amazing as well as extremely difficult, stressful and confusing, this being so I have lost sight of one of my goals which was to continue getting healthy and losing weight. This is for me as I have not felt happy in my own skin for years and used it to punish myself for past wrongs.

So last week was the start of walking home from work (about 3 miles) every day and working out with my body blade, I was successful even when I was leaving an hour late from work. Lots of healthy eating and fruit, which will continue into next week and beyond. It is sad that in today’s world I cannot be accepted for who I am, it is one thing to be fat and a second problem to be different personality wise it is almost like a double whammy.

Even though you would think geeks would be attracted to each other it is not always the case, it seems a lot of men are holding out for their idealised poster girl which I am not in the running for. Don’t get me wrong I am not looking to get married (already been there) I really just want to share parts of my life with someone special who gets me and I want to be in love and be loved back (I am the queen of unrequited love!!).

I do like even sometimes love who I am, the strangeness of all my pursuits which all get thrown into the melting pot of making me totally unique and different. It feels sad to be 43 and to not have know kind, happy love, in the past I have been naive and easily manipulated, emotionally controlled and abused. I feel like it is not much to ask for, I do feel lonely for love and I would hate to think that it has passed me by.

So I am changing my outlook on life and actively looking for someone, however scary that might be and putting myself out in the world and seeing what gets thrown back.

Fingers crossed for some luck coming my way….

Clairester
Xx

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