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The end of the first week of January, I wonder how many people have already broken their New Year resolutions, i don’t set any for that very reason. Instead this year I have thought about changes I want to make and instead of leaping in, I will take small step towards making them happen.

My year is all about Harmony, so I want to be fitter, stronger physically and mentally, better work life balance and I want to focus much more on making art and being creative. This all takes effort in todays society that is all about stress, work and making money.

So my plan involves me starting gentle daily exercise, being consistent which is totally achievable. I will be working on the same schedule for 4 weeks then gradually increasing the exercise time along with this I will be eating healthier clean foods and cutting out processed foods, the idea being to create a habit of exercising and good eating. Obviously I will be allowing myself to have a little of what I like cake/ sweet but where possible homemade without additives.

The other part of having balance is making sure that I take time out to be creative, I have really missed the act of putting paint to paper and seeing what I can create. Below is what I am currently working on in my new handmade journal, and I am really liking how it is coming on.

Journal Page 1Journal Page 10 Jan

I will post pictures of the finished article later in the week, and I am just loving the feeling I get from playing around with paint.

Enjoy your Sunday evening

Much love

Clairester xx

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Well hey and hello, it has been an age since I not only blogged but also did any kind of art or journaling. I am not sure what happened somehow with my job and other things going on I forgot who I was and what I need to keep some stability in my life.

With that in mind I embarked on some artwork today, weather a bit rubbish after coming back from holiday yesterday. Just wanted to get my creative juices flowing as I have been out of it for a while.

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I cannot believe we are already in the middle of March, this has been a crazy year so far I have been lucky enough to go on 2 holidays to the Dominican Republic with my boyfriend, he normally spends the Winters on holiday which his job allows. So I have spent 4 weeks relaxing, being pampered and for someone who hasn’t had a 2 week holiday away for 10 years this has been an incredible experience in learning how to relaxing and de-stress. Not sure I am fully there unfortunately the stress I endured before each holiday was immense as well as work issues on my return so these are definitely things I need to work on.

If you want to see any of the videos you can view them if you sort by newest first – Dominican Republic Jan 2015 videos

So now I am back a fresh start is needed, lots of art and journaling and blogging are on the agenda along with getting out and about to focus on some photography a new hobby I am trying.

So I wish you well for this Sunday evening and see you soon

Clairester x

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And I liked it alot.

Been an age since I last blogged, sadly the work/ life balance just became work, no life really in the 2 weeks leading up to Easter early mornings and late nights. I hate that it is really hard to create when I am so worn out or have no energy.

Luckily I have this week off so apart from catching up with chores I am painting up a storm and it feels good, I have really missed the creative outlet as I know how much it settles my mind, takes away anxiety and nurtures my soul. As you are already aware I paint from my heart, what I feel at that moment which is why I tend to do them quickly otherwise when the feeling dissipates it is a struggle to finish. With that in mind thus feeling has lasted several days so thus us what I created.

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So yes this is quite different for me, well at the beginning of April I got an offer for online dating so I decided to give it a go for a month. I wrote a honest bio for the first time and within a few days start chatting to a lovely guy. The emails were interesting about who he is, asking me about stuff in my bio and he was funny. Naturally it then progressed to talking on the phone, oh my so much laughter and we talked about everything. So last week he says we should meet, which for me is the hardest part I don’t consider myself attractive so it tends to be make or break.

Saturday was the date, we spent just short of 8 hours together which I think is long for a date, and it was the perfect day. Now I have never really dated, fallen into relationships, met odd men but never treated the way i was on Saturday. We got on really well, it was just easy as he was so kind and caring, by the end we were holding hands and he was very much the gentleman. Since then he has been sweet and honest, my normal reaction is to question, get anxious and control and instead I am going with the flow allowing myself to feel this way and enjoying how this feels.

Personality wise we fit, silences (if any) are reflective and calming, he is crazy handsome and a lot of fun and it all right now, in this moment feels right. I think dating when you are older (40’s) means you have a better perspective on what doesn’t work for you making it easier to spot what does. I am well aware that things change, as do feelings but I am trying to be the artistic, happy clever me not the one filled with anxiety who doubts everything ruins it then say I’ll never find anyone.

As a rule this doesn’t happen to me so I am happy to join this ride for as long as it makes me happy and our second date is tomorrow. Nice little line of anxiety going tonight that he will see me a second time and change his mind, totally irrational of course and if that did happen then he is not worth it, this I know….doesn’t help!

Anyway goodnight to you all

Clairester
Xx

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Today has been a windy rainy day, perfect for baking and painting so I have indulged in both today which is just as well as it seems the cold I have been fighting off is now coming out. I have done nothing but sneeze and blow my nose, very attractive.

I hate that weekends feel so short, time goes so quickly then it is Monday, feels so depressing that there is not enough time for rest and hobbies. Even now it is 9pm and I feel shattered ready for bed, I must be getting old that is for sure I need so much more sleep.

So I baked a banana, cinnamon and choc chip cake, eggs but no butter and quite frankly it is amazing, I will write out the recipe later in the week.

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I made some cinnamon icing and drizzled it over the top, really delicious and easy to make.

So art wise went a little mad on colour and I am really enjoying the new gelatos that I got, colours are so bright and they mix well. As you may already know I journal how I feel and recently I have felt emotionally confused about a friend, his behaviour to me has been over friendly and whilst I have been very restrained it has left me wondering what is going on between us. He doesn’t want to date me but can’t leave me alone, problem is aside from THAT I have a really great time when I see him. So this is what I journaled.

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I tried a few new techniques, I used gesso through a stencil so it gave a raised effect and I added some embellishment with a tag and flower. I love the colours I think because I feel so hard and so brightly it fits that when I journal feelings the colours are so vibrant. Sometimes I get so excited at the thought of using colour like now my hands are stained green from dylusions ink from a painting I have started.

Enjoy the rest of your evening.

Clairester
Xx

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Yes actually I am in love with myself, I know how wonderful for me! I have no significant other at present and have been focusing on myself, understanding how I tick and why I react the way I do. It has been an amazing learning curve and not without some interesting lessons learned along the way.

I now know that art is integral to my life force without it I am a mess, I love the journaling aspect of cleansing my emotions, Valentine’s day was a perfect chance as I received my delivery of gelatos, and dylusions spray.

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I love the gelatos, the colours are so bright and so many different applications.

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I love the dripping effect that they give with such vibrant colour.

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Here in the UK we have had the most terrible weather, rain leading to flooding, close to where one of my friends lives the underground river flooded, luckily the fire brigade and water services have spent the last week channelling the water into man made reservoirs. I salute the hard work they have done and are still doing.

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So for now I say good night and wish you happy days.

Clairester
Xx

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Tonight is the night before my 43rd birthday, it is strange because I have felt 35 for the last few years.  I love where I am in my life, a lot is new and changing, right now I am happy with that. I have never been open to anything outside of my world, this year is my time to try, to continue down the road of different, standing out from the crowd.

This time last year I could not have predicted that I would become interested in airsoft guns, start shooting and own 4 guns. That I would have been so prolific in blogging and journaling, I have learnt so much about myself and how I view the world.

So here I go leaping and jumping into my 43rd year…..woohoo!

Be safe
Clairester
Xx

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I have had the best weekend, I love that my year has started in such a lovely way. My word for the year is INVITE and I invited fun and delight for the last 2 days.

It started with a trip to the post office to collect my #lootcrate and a gift from a friend (handmade coasters and placemats) both are wonderful. I then spent the day with my friend Chris, he is relatively new in my life and is so much fun, he has introduced me into airsoft guns, I had no idea how much I would enjoy shooting. So I had already bought a pistol that I keep at his flat and for Christmas he made me a leather holster, then a total surprise as he also bought me a pump action shotgun. I was totally blown away, very excited and I think he got as much out of giving it to me from the reaction I gave when I opened it up.

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So we sent the day talking, eating, lots of laughs and shooting, I can honestly say I feel blessed today. On my way back home whilst waiting for my bus this was my view, lovely watching nature.

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Sunday had making soup on the list, I am trying to step up my vitamin intake to combat the germs making the rounds at work. So broccoli and spinach soup was my aim and actually it came out well and tastes really quite nice. Just boiled up the vegetables, added onions, paprika, stock then whizzed it all up very easy, at least I know what has gone into it, lots of veg hence the green!

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To top the day off a final bit of journaling, the cover of my new handmade journal is finished apart from the fastening, I am really happy with the way it looks.

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I think it would be fun to keep the same pattern for the year just change the colours based on the seasons for each new journal. I think having them lined up on a shelf at the end of the year would look funky. So then I finished my first journal spread for 2014.

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The sense of accomplishment working in a book that you have made is amazing, I think I have learnt so much about myself over the last year and one thing I am sure of, journaling is essential for my sanity. I am stronger and braver because I journal, all the feelings I have I can work out in a more positive way and I am also exceptionally lucky that I have amazing support for what I do from all my friends.

I also thank you for reading and liking what I do, I appreciate each one of you.

Blessings
Clairester
Xx

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