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The end of the first week of January, I wonder how many people have already broken their New Year resolutions, i don’t set any for that very reason. Instead this year I have thought about changes I want to make and instead of leaping in, I will take small step towards making them happen.

My year is all about Harmony, so I want to be fitter, stronger physically and mentally, better work life balance and I want to focus much more on making art and being creative. This all takes effort in todays society that is all about stress, work and making money.

So my plan involves me starting gentle daily exercise, being consistent which is totally achievable. I will be working on the same schedule for 4 weeks then gradually increasing the exercise time along with this I will be eating healthier clean foods and cutting out processed foods, the idea being to create a habit of exercising and good eating. Obviously I will be allowing myself to have a little of what I like cake/ sweet but where possible homemade without additives.

The other part of having balance is making sure that I take time out to be creative, I have really missed the act of putting paint to paper and seeing what I can create. Below is what I am currently working on in my new handmade journal, and I am really liking how it is coming on.

Journal Page 1Journal Page 10 Jan

I will post pictures of the finished article later in the week, and I am just loving the feeling I get from playing around with paint.

Enjoy your Sunday evening

Much love

Clairester xx

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Hello and Happy New Year to you all!

I am extremely glad to see the back of 2015, it was not the greatest year for me a horrible breakup, 2 bouts of redundancy that I survived but have had to deal with the fallout, lots of stress from the additional work and being ill all over Christmas and New Year.

So welcome to 2016 my year to make decisions, work towards making some changes and have some amazing adventures. Being ill has given me a chance to think and reflect over what changes I want to make now I can start to make some plans.

Part of reflecting on 2015 to move towards the new year was to work on choosing my word courtesy of Susannah Conway, her short free course for Finding your Word was invaluable. I didn’t have one for 2015 so felt it was important to have a focus for 2016, Susannah’s course was insightful and everyone in the Facebook group was incredibly supportive; it was wonderful to see each person go through the process and pick their word.

My New Year was spent making a new art journal, I did this in 2014 and being ill I certainly was not planning on going out. It is really quite therapeutic and at the end of the process you have a new journal.

New Journal & Supplies

So this is the cover before I added the name and with some of the art supplies I ordered over Christmas. Sadly 2015 was not good for art productivity and I have really missed this. Just by painting the cover I remembered how much I loved this which is part of my wider plan for this year.

2016 Harmony Art Journal

The word I chose for 2016 is Harmony.

My life got a little out of control and I lost perspective, I took on too much and found I had no work life balance at all. What I have realised is that I have to be able to walk away from work and not to feel guilty, it is not my responsibility to cover all the work no-one else can do . My use of the work Harmony is to remind myself that I need balance in all aspects of my life, I did not live last year I survived. This year is about me shouting out loud that I AM ALIVE and working on making adventures happen.

So no resolutions for me instead my word serves me for the whole of 2016 in all the ways I want to make changes, I am looking for Harmony.

I wish much success with your plans for 2016, lets share our adventures.

Much love

Clairester xx

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Endless Possibilities

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Only managed the one, too much going on my head so I struggled to make sense of it.

Clairester
Xx

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Dealing with Dislike

It is strange and uncomfortable to feel that someone doesn’t like you, that for whatever reason they have negative feelings for you. The worse part is that in many cases you did nothing to warrant this yet somehow you are involved.

I do know it is nothing to do with me, it is someone else’s issue and perceptions however it always overspills into life. For some reason it goes hand in hand with being rude and actively being mean. I find this hardest at work, if you don’t like someone that is your opinion, be polite and move on, I find it immature to ignore and play games. As you can tell I am at the blunt end of this, I have asked what the problem is and been told nothing but still been met with stony silence when I say good morning. I guess what I can’t abide is rudeness and this is for a reason I don’t understand so it feels frustrating.

I know that I am not responsible, that I cannot assume what someone else is thinking I have asked for clarity and been met with stubbornness and I find the attitude slightly bullying in nature. Therefore I should just move on as I gave no ill will only confusion.

I will offer friendship, understanding and love instead, it may not make any difference but it does mean I can look at myself in the mirror and feel proud.

Sending you love for Monday night.

Clairester
Xx

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I cannot believe my last post was 3 weeks ago, as usual life gets in the way well more likely I have been distracted. It is not as if I haven’t been crafting, however I have just found that moving out of dating has been very distracting. I have been learning so much about myself over the last 2 months, understanding why I act the way I do and whether it is beneficial to me. I am so hard on myself mostly because I have become a slave to my emotions instead of controlling them.

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Feeling a bit like I have left this all too late, I think I say this every year about making Christmas stuff and it never changes. Now I gave even started to make decorations for other people, because it gives me joy and I seem to like the added pressure.

This life, my life is all about me, I have confused myself into thinking it is about relationships with others but it is not, it is about my relationship with myself and how I feel. I am excited about who I am becoming, thinking about all the things I want to do, and how I want my world to grow larger. I want to meet people, make connections, and see what happens, I feel 2014 has a lot of potential.

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And next year it really is all about me for once!

Wishing you Sunday love

Clairester
Xx

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Taking a Chance

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My last blog post ironically was about being grounded in love, whilst that still feels true I have found myself in the sudden position of dating. This has taken me by surprise as I was not looking and I had sort of given up, the man concerned is lovely, handsome, kind, intelligent and different.

The downside is me and my anxieties, I haven’t dated because of these, how do you cope when your emotions escalate out of control and you feel like you are scaring someone away. I get so full on especially when I like them to the point where I seem to like them more than they like me. How do I reign myself in when my emotions are rocketing out of my head and mouth, I feel like I am making a real mess already and I know I will be the one to get hurt.

Hurt just purely by being rejected for being me, for one of the first times I am being the real actual Claire, I am scared because I have no-one to help me pick up the pieces anymore. I know that caring and doing this make me feel more alive but bloody hell it is frightening.

This time if I can make it without cocking up, the benefits of getting to know someone new are amazing but I feel like I may have already been too exuberant and left him feeling cold and uncomfortable. I am not really sure how to deal with that, other than keep on going, one day it will work out for me and this still may.

So think of me and send a good wish my way.

Clairester
Xx

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A Shout Out to September

With it realising it, I have been away from my blog for 2 weeks, and I think I needed a break. The first week was super stressful at work plus getting ready for my holiday to see my parents. I just didn’t get a break. Then last week well I was having such a relaxing time, spending quality time with my parents that I thought a break would be healthy. Along with the fact that a wireless connection in the middle of no-where just kept dropping out every time you breathed!!

So I watched TV, ate out, shopped and walked with my Dad which was lovely.

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I feel sad to be home and have really missed them since I arrived back. So instead of wallowing I have been kinda busy, lots of reading. Whilst I was away I ordered some second hand books from Abebooks. They are amazing, the prices were low and the quality of the books that arrived were fantastic. I am really into May Sarton, her writing is so vivid and fresh, this is what I am reading at the moment, and really loving it.

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I was also lucky to receive my September planner from http://www.rightbrainplanner.com in the post, along with oodles of inspiration on her website so I made it into a book planner to use.

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The front cover design

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The inside of the cover with a pocket for stickers and stuff

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Journaling for today, I am very excited about adding this to my writing experience. Don’t worry there will still be plenty of art journaling and discussion of feelings!

So I enter the final 4 months of the year with excitement, I love Autumn and Christmas, I am going to enjoy all that is on offer. See and do as much as I can, and have adventures.

Happy September!

Clairester
Xx

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