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My Broken Heart

Sorry I haven’t been back on for the last 2 weeks had some personal things going on along with a job change.

So I find myself single after nearly a year dating the most amazing man, unfortunately issues with my anxiety arose which drove a wedge between us so it has ended. I am heart broken as I truly loved him, however something was definitely off this year and our holiday a few weeks ago was a challenge as we were both stressed out. He was angry with me a lot which is not right so whilst I am very upset at the ending of our relationship, I kinda know it is the right thing for us to do so that we can remember the good times.

What I take away from this relationship was that I met an utterly handsome gentleman who totally wooed me, we fell in love and for 11 months had so much fun together and don’t bear each other any ill will now that it has ended. We still love each other and I think it is the best you can hope for there being no blame on either side and that you have good memories to hold onto.

Now there is the option for us to be friends, he is going away to help clear his head and give us both some space so I have to decide if I want to remain friends with him, difficult choice I think. I know that he believes in me and wants the best for me, I just don’t want to get confused with my feelings I think if we do we would have to go slow.

So not much art has been done as stress doesn’t make me very creative.

Hug each other tight tonight,

Clairester

xxxx

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I have been away for quite a while, it seems there is just never enough time to fit everything in that I want to do.

The last 4 months have been crazy, amazing at times, hard work and sometimes stressful  but I really wouldn’t change what has happened, I just hope that the rest of the year is as exciting.

So what has been happening well very briefly, work has been crazy busy, working long hours and generally being unpleasant. I have met the most amazing guy who I have been seeing for nearly 5 months, honestly the time we spend together is just perfect and we went on my first holiday for 10 years together to Majorca which was beautiful.

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Well we are fast heading into Autumn and it is the time for getting back into reading which I have missed desperately and spending my evenings being more productive doing art, I really miss it and I know it grounds. I have always known it keeps me sane if all around me is going mental. So I am back and I am going to try to film some of my making of art, my boyfriend has lent me a swish, fancy camera to use so watch this space.

Currently reading – Bringing up the Bodies by Hilary Mantel
I loved Wolf Hall and the sequel is equally as thrilling.

Looking forward to reading The Taxidermist’s Daughter by Kate Mosse

Also check out my boyfriends youtube channel, flying, shooting, and lovely holiday destinations – G-Dogg Cool Adventures

Wishing you all a happy Saturday night

Clairester

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Today is my 43rd birthday, I have had a lovely weekend spending it with friends, lots of wonderful presents.

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Beautifully sunny day, very fresh perfect for walking at Cheam Park, home refreshed and very tired.

Sending you warm and fuzzy hugs this evening.

Clairester
Xx

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I am home finally with family and am so happy my heart could burst. I wish all of you and your family much love and joy for this holiday season, hug everyone tight and savour each and every moment. Off to open presents and start on the chocolate….it is allowed!!

Clairester
Xx

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Homeward Bound

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Let us hope that the trains run tomorrow so I can spend Christmas with my family. All packed!!

Clairester
Xx

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Change to Service

These are the words I did not want to see for my train journey on Christmas eve, yet last night I have to consider the possibility that I may have to spend Christmas alone.

Now I have done this before but it was planned and I was prepared. This is not, I have shopping as I had cleared everything for going away.

I did not blog because I just felt too upset and could not put my emotions into words only tears. What is the big deal you might ask, well I spend most of my time alone without family and this was my opportunity to spend a week surrounded by people I love.

Let me hope that I get my very small Christmas wish.

Clairester
Xx

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Really blogging every day is a real challenge, time wise and also knowing what to say. 

Right now what seems important is to appreciate the friends and family I have in my life, look at all the positive points and say I am thankful. To have people who share your life is truly wonderful and I am grateful to know them all.

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Thank you!

Clairester
Xx

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